I’m tired of Virginia, everything is the same & shit’s getting really OLD & BORING. So many people worry about other people instead of just themselves. I wanna move, like RIGHT NOW. I wouldn’t even tell anybody except a few including *bests, seastars, & real CLOSE/GOOD friends. Everyone else, I don’t even give a fuck. They probably won’t even care either & if they do & they notice me GONE, the fuck you gonna do about it? You never showed me any feelings like you DID care anyways, so fuck it. I know everyone says that they wanna ‘move to california’, but HAY me fucking too. WHY? Schools are outside, more GOOD LOOKING filipinos, there are dance groups that are way better but i doubt i’ll try out cos I’m shy wit that :( but STILL. Great lookin’ houses, BEACH, did i mention sexy ass filipinos?! There are NONE of that here in VB. Maybe thas why I’m always fallin’ for niggas, cos thas ALL we have here. PLUS they ARE goodlookin’, but I want someone of MY kind for once cos there’s just that *connection*. I just wanna STARTOVER !
I’m fed up with people that try to crush me so I’ll be all upset & what not, but the thing is, I don’t show that i’m upset cos that just shows weakness & that’s not me. I like to let people think that it doesn’t bother me, even though sometimes it does. I like to let people think that I’m absolutely happy with my life right now, but it’s not really that great right now. Just know that I’ma stop with all the negativity & keep positive, just know that when you look down on me that I’ll be looking up right past you, just know that if you try to downgrade me i’ma be past your fucking level.
for you to get online, so we can Tokbox. BLAH, you said practice ended at 2 .. so how come you’r not on! Haha just kidding. You’re probably taking a nap, but bBOOOO O! I wanna tokbox wit you right now cos I’m about to leave soon wit my sister & see my nephew & then my nephew’s cousinssss. then MAYBE go to my ex’s house cos my sister is his brother’s wife’s good friend. BLAH I don’t wanna see him though.
I know it doesn’t matter anymore cos it’s the past, but I’ve just been thinking, maybe a bit too much but that’s why I have this blog to use for. Maybe everything just happened too fast? We only got to know each other for a month, then already we got together once the school year started, 3 & a half months later we broke up & hated eachother? How we wasted those months, how we could’ve been just friends, even bestfriends.
I don’t know why but every now & then, I do think about you. I think about a lot of things about us or maybe just you. Most of the times I just don’t understand you & then I’ve come to the point where I don’t even believe anything you say anymore. What happened to the guy I fell in like with, deeply.
You gave me butterflies I never had, yet they flew away & you didn’t even have the net to catch them with. You lost my trust & my respect, so why am I still friends with you? You made me feel loved, cared, & all the things that a boyfriend should make a girlfriend feel..but how come I feel like now you were just pretending?
I’m really bored & I feel like typing about random stuff. I’m pretty sure most of you tumblrs won’t even read this, so that’s why I don’t really care what I say right now, haha.
So I just got finished watching a video on YouTube of Ne-yo’s Music Video ‘Mad’. Man, it really made me tear up! Makes me wanna take back everything I said to anybody that made them think I hurt their feelings for anything, cos I really am a nice person. It’s just if you don’t know me & listen to the people that talk bad about me & actually believe it, that’s when i’ma start to not like you, haha. Then if I try to tell you straight up, the truth, don’t take that shit for granted. Don’t tell me I’m not telling the truth when I really am, how you gonna tell me? Seriously, that shit’s annoying! But whatever, as long as my true friends & I know the truth, I don’t gots nothin’ to be worried about foreal. True friends like my bestfriend, seastars, leigh (that nigga ass bitch<3) & so on. You don’t have to like me, just know that if you got something to say then fuckin’ say that shit to my face, real talk. I’m tired of hearing stuff from my friends tellin’ me that this & this person was talking about me. Yeah, you don’t even got the guts to say that shit in person, so don’t even try runnin’ your mouth. By the way, this doesn’t go out to anybody in particular, I’m just sayin’ ; cos i’m bored & felt like I gotta say somethin’.
Now on to something else, I love making new friends. It feels great knowing another person can understand where you’re coming from & all that. It’s crazy how you can think that, that person must have nothing in common with you, but you guys have ALOT in common & actually get along just fine. It’s like you just filled up my heart even lots more of love! LAME. I’m just saying though, like that GOONIGGA. But we knew so much about eachother even before talking to eachother cos of LEIGH. Can’t keep your damn mouth shut, NIGGA. But it’s all cool, we’re like a friendship triangle LOL. I CALL FUCKIN’ SHOTGUN WHEN YOU GET YOUR LICENSE & of course i’ma down wit yall to go to the beach right when you get your license :) AAAYY, don’t forget my birthday’s next month on the 9th ! ;)
Man, my arm itches :( Hm, this summer’s been pretty alright. UGH, my neighbor, is moving next Monday back to where she used to live before she moved her last summer. HOW GAY! We got along so great too & had many inside jokes, mann. Well at least we’re gonna hang out wit a small group of friends this week ;) OH YEAH! I’m gonna miss her! Hmm, next weekend my brother is coming down wit her wife (sister-in-law) from NJ. We’re gonna go to the beach when they get here, then on saturday we’re gonna go to Busch Gardens! WOO, but me & my other brother wants to go to Kings Dominion rather than BG, ugh!
Okay well i’ma wash my face & brush my teeth, it’s almost 1:30AM. I’m not even tired, so i’ma stay on Tumblr for a few more hours, hehe.
I haven’t felt like this in a while. It’s weird though cos he’s the last person I ever though I’d start having feelings for. It’s weird cos last year, AUGUST was when I started talking to somebody too, then eventually we got together.. then broke up the following year. Hopefully that won’t happen again with this guy, if anything happens. I don’t know, I’ma take this real slow though cos I’m not even sure if I’m just saying all this just cos I want a boyfriend. But I love love his personality & the things he does. He makes me laugh & I can tell him about everything, like every fuckin’ thing. You name it! Even porn, yes even porn NIGGA. hahahhahaahah. But nothing nasty foreal. He’s been playing football since he was 5, also been beatin’ up by his own father :( & his mama doesn’t even do anything about it, what the hell! I feel bad for him. It’s weird cos for once he’s not black.. well he IS part black but that’s not my point. I never pointed out anything like if he has a big dick, but i mean i don’t mind his dick size 7 & a half? that’s FINE for me, HAHHA but it’s like not i’m trying to do anything with him, i’m JUST saying! LOL. Whenever he IMS me on aim, i smile outtta nowhere. I don’t know, something about him makes me attracted to him in a way. At first, I thought he was chubby though, no lie! But then he put that picture up of him wit his muscle, that’s attractive to me cos I have weakness if guys with a great body<3 Then YOU leigh, told me he wasn’t fat at all, it was hard for me to believe that cos of the other pictures on his page, wearn’ big clothes haha. MAN, on his tumblr it said, “I promise.. you’re all I want” i wonder who he’s talking about -_-.
